I'm still alive, yes i know its been over 6 months since i posted a journal and been over a year since i posted art, but that happens when your desired major happens to not be art related. I figured i'd just leave something to say i haven't given up on drawing or anything, just haven't posted anything cause nothing really feels worthy. Anyways lemme know whats up. k?

Graciously borrowed from a friend ^^ NOT STOLEN! Nicely taken from. Tastefully acquired. gently retrieved... FORCEFULLY RIPPED OFF!!!! er... not that last one.... ^^

***********FOODOLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice??
Ummm.. Cu comber Ranch. My High school got me addicted to it...

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
I.. Honestly... can't.. say.. I... haven't... been... to many...

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
My cold cut trio at subway. I've actually done it a few times thanks to theater productions i was in.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Sausage and Mushroom. Nummy!

What do you like to put on your toast?
Peanut butter!!!! its a comfort "food" of mine.


***********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many televisions are in your house?
Lemme see.. 8 i do believe. Half of them are either broken or unused, and i think our newest one is over 10 years old at least.

What color cell phone do you have?
I have no cellphone (they are too danged expensive!)

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
I write with my right hand. shoot with my left, and the rest is pretty proficient either or.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Many splinters... um... LOTS of blood!!! Much from donation. More non.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My Tomahawk tot. Its full of camping equipment and fun.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not that i recall.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Sure. Why not? i don't like surprises.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Honestly... I LOVE MY NAME! it flows wonderfully!And its fun hearing teachers mispronouncing my last name!

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Take away a zero and cut the number in half and I'd still do it.

************DUMBOLOGY******************
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None. I haven't owned a pair of shoes that show off toes in over 10 years. Kind of uncomfortable with my feet showing i guess.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
About a month and a half ago. I was visiting my dear friend, and didn't leave tell 3:30 am *neither of us had classes or work the fallowing morning* And i didn't want to wake up the parents, since they were between the back door and where i was. so I went around the house. Now they live on a street corner, a street corner to a well populated well known street. I walked around sort of between trees the exact second a police car drove by... They spotted me stopped me, and had me answer a LOT of questions. Pretty sure they were checking to make sure i wasn't high as well. My story checked out and everything. But yeah... Still crazy. (sorry to make you read all that)

Last person you talked to?
Karen.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Spring. I love April showers, I love thawing out of our 5 months of freeze, i love the smells, and just the general feeling of rebirth.

Holiday?
Christmas. Cause its the one time of year i can be happy with my family.

Day of the week?
Saturday. The first day of supposed freedom, and kind of the chill yet still get things done day.

Month?
June... Don't ask me why.

***********CURRENTOLOGY***************

Missing someone?
Yes... Many people actually.

Mood?
Tired, beaten, sore, sick, but magically alive.

What are you listening to?
At the moment. nothing. But i'll get my play list started soon.

Watching?
my Monitor. I'm going to go to bed watching Harry Potter again though!

Worrying about?
School... I don't know if i passed the requirements to get me out of my academic probation, and if i didn't my life is sort of over.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
the living room.

What's the last movie you saw?
I just got done seeing Iron Man.

Do you smile often?
Yes. Yes i do!

Sleeping alone tonight?
Yeah.. i have for the passed 5 years.

Do you always answer your phone?
Only if i'm the only one home and not passed out.

Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
No one. i need a phone to text. Though i'm pretty sure it would be Rachel if it had XD

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Light blue. Like ice blue. Like the same color eyes Link has!

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Never been.

Do you own a digital camera?
Yessum!

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Not myself personally. But my sis has fish right now.

Favorite Christmas song?
Do THey Know It's Christmas Time at All. And Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time.

What's on your wish list for your birthday.
Alcohol? I don't know. I'll be 21 then. So drinks and chocolate!

Can you do push ups?
Yeah ^^ a good number too!

Can you do a chin up?
Not yet.. I can hold my own weight over the bar though for a LONG period of time.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Yes, they do both!

Do you have any saved texts?
Again. No sell = no texts.

Ever been in a car wreck?
A few... None caused by me.. less you call a 5mph love tap to my dads Minne van a wreck.

Do you have an accent?
Not unless north west USA has one. I'm not very Minnesotan in my accent.

What is the last song to make you cry?
"two Lights" by Five for Fighting almost chokes me up in one of its last lines...

Plans tonight?
Tonight? nope. Though i intend to program a game or draw a new picture. Either way i'm pleased.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
I've sunk low. and hit rock walls. But Rock Bottom? heck no! i can sink lower!

Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
I didn't bye anything. I'm a cheapskate when i can be.

Have you ever been given roses?
I think i got one graduation or something like that. I've given plenty though.

Current hate right now?
Myself. nuff said.

Met someone who changed your life?
A few people. It happens when i set myself up to change other people's lives, they end up changing mine too.

How did you bring in the New Year?
Moping around my room feeling hurt lonely and isolated.

What song represents you?
Uninspired by 8Stops7
Hate Me by Blue October
and Hero

Name three people who might complete this?
I haven't a clue. I'm not tagging anyone.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
No. History is just that. History. I'd like to learn from it and move on.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yeah. Miss Rachel, or to her friends Lizzi. That one almsot lasted two years.

Do you have any tattoo/piercing?
Nah.

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
your guess is as good as mine.

Does anyone love you?
I'd like to think so.

Would you be a pirate?
Sure?

What songs do you sing in the shower?
Its all mood depeneded. But lately its been "you give love a bad name" by Bon Jovi

Ever had someone sing to you?
No. not really. I sing to others a lot. Poor other people...

When did you last cry?
Years ago. I killed that part of me a long time ago.

Do you like to cuddle?
Yeah! ^^

Have you held hands with anyone today?
a little

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Myself. TO show off my new hairdo.

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Radio Oz tell they killed it... Then it was KOOL 108

Do you believe in staying close with your ex's?
One i'm seeing a lot. the other... lets not discuses her.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Scott. Bain... Ned... Pat... Just a few names of people i've known forever! But i have a small and distinguished list of new friends.

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Sure

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Umm.. My weird dancing, my hair, my dis coordination issues, my rather low intelligence, and my Wille Nose!

Have you ever ridden an elephant?
At the Renaissance festival i have!

Do you like to play Scrabble?
I can't spell for my life. but yet i do enjoy it here and there.

What are you saving your money up for right now?
Nothing right now. I'm not making money, i'm spending it...

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
A few years ago. I never had a love affair with them.

What song do you want played at your funeral?
"hear you Me" by Jimmy Eat World. If you don't know the lyrics, find them. its worth your time. "And if you were with me tonight. I'd sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big. God Would let it live!"

What were you doing 12 AM last night?
I would perfer not talking about it thanks.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
"Um.. K.. Wha? woah.. K.. hu?”

Yeah, this looked fun, i stole this, yeah. Let us see!

"If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars."

I Fear…

[ ] the dark
[x] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dogs (well, not all dogs)
[ ] birds (mostly seagulls XD)
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 4

[x] being touched(sorta)
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] failure
[X] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places (see above XD)
[x] snow (drving in it mostly)

Total so far: 8

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death (of loved ones)
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed
[x] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes

Total so far: 15

[ ] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[x] school (i love college, but i keep screwing up)
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[x] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up
Total so far: 20

[ ] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles(yes!)
[ ] blood (VERY yes!)
[ ] dinosaurs (lol)
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed
[x] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Total: 23

YUP! I'm kinda paranoid. Not suprized XD. anyway! Um... I'm still into Scetching but since my laptop has connection issue and refuses to charge, i dont have ability to get art on here... Whenthings get fixed i'll get back to having fun with digital art, tell then enjoy whatever and have fun

any qeustions comments concenrsn anything i'm here people don't be afraid to say hi! I'm a nice dude ^^

Yeah um, she made me do it XD

----------• × • A L L | A B O U T | M E • × •--------------

- Name: Benjamin (better known as Nightmarephynix)
- Single or taken: its Complicated.
- Gender: Dude
- Birthday: September 2nd
- Sign: Virgo
- Hair color: Dark Brown
- Eye color: Hazel
- Height: 6'3
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Straight

-----------• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •--------------

- favourite place to shop for clothes?: ummmm... Fleet Farm i believe is the place i can get Jeans for $15
- Favorite designer?: N/A
- What is your sexiest outfit?: I'm not sure, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with my Trench Coat.
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: Jeans and T-shirt and socks. probably one of my show shirts.
- What do you usually wear?: Jeans and a T-shirt, again probubly one of my show shirts.

--------------• × • S P E C I F I C S • × • -------------------

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: stuff that smells funny and reduces dandruff.
- What are you listening to right now?: Linkin Park. i can do better... COME ON RENT!
- Who is the last person that called you?: Ummmmm... oh golly... its been a few days. lemme see if I remeber. Either Ned or Mike.
- How many buddies are online right now?: lets see... 2.
-------------• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •-----------------

- Food: Orange Chicken or Tacos!
- Girls names: Kerri Karen Rebeca Tamera Ann
- Boys names: Benjamin (sorry i like my own name!) Michale Brain Javier James many more
- Subjects in school: Maths, science, english and probably SOSE
- Animals: Hyena, black leopard, Ocelot, wolfs, there are more XD

----------------• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •-------------

- Given anyone a bath?: Nope
- Smoked?: nope
- Bungee jumped?: not yet.
- Made yourself throw up?: ummmm... If taking pain medication even knowing it would make me sick counts.
- Skinny dipped?: not yet. I wanna though!
- Ever been in love?: *nods* too many times for my own good.
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Nope.
- Pictured your crush naked?: most of them XD
- Actually seen your crush naked?: one or two of them/
- Cried when someone died?: no... got close last year around this time. but no.
- Lied: Who hasn't? I know i do. perhaps too much...
- Fallen for your best friend?: a few times.
- Rejected someone?: *nods* haven't needed to much though.
- Used someone?: only for their own good. (TRUST ME ON THAT!)
- Done something you regret?: Life is full or regrets. welcome to the past. I try look forward.

------------• × • C U R R E N T • × •--------------

- Clothes: Black Jeans, and a college shirt that isn't my own. and socks.
- Desktop picture: cool Assassin's Creed pic
- CD in player: ummmmm... Last thing i played was probubly a burned CD from a friend.
- DVD in player: I don't recall. Probubly Simpson's Season Seven Disk.
----------------• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •----------------------

- You touched: Ned. i think i gave him a hug.
- Hugged: Probubly Ned again XD
- You IMed: Don't recall. too Tired...
- Talk to online: Equidna i think.
- Sex it up with: Still a virgin. probubly will stay that way for awhile.
---------------• × • A R E | Y O U • × •---------------------

- Understanding: Always
- Open-minded: Completely
- Arrogant: I have my days... but normaly its the opposite that gives me trouble.
- Insecure?: rarely
- Random?: in the right mood
- Hungry: Kinda.
- Smart: oh HECK NO!
- Moody: Not externaly.
- Organized: See answer for Smart.
- Shy: Depends on the situation. In large groups i tend to be.
- Difficult: Wouldn't put it past me.
- Bored easily: not at all! i keep myself very well busy.
- Obsessed: Almost constantly.
- Angry: not as much as i should be.
- Sad: Too much
- Happy: I can be ^^
- Hyper: Commonly.
- Trusting: Not often enough... few can say they REALLY know ME.

---------• × • W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A • × •--------

- Kill?: I'm not the most violent person out there...
- Slap?: Bain. cause he probably deserves it right now.
- Get really wasted with?: Ned. I hear he's a fun drunk.
- Get high with: Mike is the only one that offerd, but i don't see myself even trying it.
- Talk to offline: Ned. I work with the guy and have been friends with him for almost 7 years, but still can't get enough
- Talk to online: the list is long and distinguished
- Sex it up with: See answer to last question >.>

------------------• × • R A N D O M • × •---------------------

- In the morning I: Wounder what the heck i'm still doing HERE!
- Love is: The greatest tool combined with the worst weapon. Use it right and you can become immortal, use it wrong and you can feel as though you are left for dead. Its like pain redefined in a bitter sweet sorrow. An addiction of the worst kind. I can keep going, but i'll stop.
- I dream about: the world around me. Whether its your world or mine all depends on the night.
- Sexual preference: Chicks yo.
- What do you notice first in the opposite sex you're into: Hight normaly, but i also fall in love with personalities over all else. BTW I'm addicted and in LOVE with CUTE!>.<

---------------• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • × ---------------

- Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (YAY MOUNTAIN DEW!!)
- Flowers or candy: Candy
- Tall or short: i like short girls ^^

---------------• × • W H O • × • ---------------

- Makes you laugh the most: Either Pat or Chic monk Mike XD
- Makes you smile: Josh
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: Rachel (yay for ex's still being friends)

--------------• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •-----------------

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Constantly...
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: no. Seeing and being around girls scare me enough, being one would give me a heart attack!
- Wish you were younger: there are times. but i hated Teen Years.
- Cry because someone said something to you?: Nope

-----------• × • N U M B E R • × •--------------

- Of times I have had my heart broken: i lost count at 6
- Of guys I've kissed: 0 less there is something i'm missing.
- Of girls I've kissed: 3.
- Of CD's I own: i don't have an answer to that RIGHT NOW. but ask me nicely and i'll count them out for you. if i can track them all down...
- Of scars on my body: 10 that are still visible



Well. there is that. Enjoy?

Oh um. Art? yeah i have some. Wanna see it? I'll post it later when i feel up to it. new job is killing me. So are home issues. I'll figure it out. Wanna know anything. Ask me via comment Note or IM, i'm happy to talk to people. REALLY. XD Yeah... Peace?

Journal of

Heyo!

Fist of all. Yeah i'm lazy, i'm still drawing just too lazy to finish things. And i'm also makin a lot of 3D stuff on second life? wanna add me, lemme know
Secondly I stole a Name Meme

NAME MEME taken from

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Martial Anet
(I think...)

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Robert Jonhdoe (don't know my mom's dad. never did never will)

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Willbe
(ummmmm... Sounds like an Australian animal)

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Crimson Hyena
(sounds better as a pro wrestler name, and even that would be pushing it)

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Matthew Mapplewood
(I um.. will just let that one go )

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Black Bauls!
(ummmm.. really?)

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Bele
(sure!)

8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Peppermint Bonbon Chocolate Chip!
(sounds more like a stripper)

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Jenkins Holloway
(I kid you not!)

10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Desert Wind Everlasting Gobstopers
(the first part is a Simpson's Joke and the rest, well, never mind XD)

11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Pipsqueak Holloway!
(i go by that people will think i'm gay!)

Yeah, fun um, anyone wanna see more art just lemme know, i'll stop being lazy and atleast post some WIPs in my scraps, tell then peace boys and girl, ladies and gents, and all of you in between and out and beyond!

Journal of

thanks for stopping by.